Post by Sharon
I often am plagued with self-doubt. It's easy to do when you're turning 57 and you spent your life building someone else's home and career and find yourself divorced.
Starting over at this age looks like an unending mountainous climb. You have to try to get a home again, get health care again, get savings again, get a career, be able to retire.... And it's soooo late in the game!
The sheer weight of "I must's" and "I can'ts" can weigh you down and keep you mired in a daily doggy paddle of regret and anxiety. You doubt your ability to make a different outcome the next time.
The truth is - you got on a bike at one point in your life and you had to mess up on it to figure out your balance, timing, effort, and steering so you could stay up and go the distance.
And this process is repeating until you get your groove. Your groove doesn't come if you don't practice and practice means missing the basket when you shoot more times than you make it.
I have found that there are two kinds of people -
There are ones that find a way to be themselves, chase their dreams, use their skills, feel proud of who they are and how others react to them, garnering more and more experience and opportunities. They expect to fail frequently in order to master. These people generally don't live in security because security is what happens when you go on autopilot like the other people -
The other people work the same job, they pay the same mortgage, they act the same way, they do the same things. They may have financial security and a home, but they lose their dynamics. They are existing, but are they adapting?
Adapting occurs when you test the waters to do things you never did before. And dynamics also include a higher incidence of failures.
There are payoffs and there are drawbacks.
For example, after years of complaining about your weight, you focus yourself on diet and exercise and you stick with it, reaping the rewards - you made your goal!
The drawbacks were you had to avoid food traps and laziness, had to workout when others were watching TV, eat foods that were allowed instead of whatever you want like other people do. You also secretly offended many folks around you who wanted you to stay fat so they didn't feel they had to lose weight or account for their intake and exercise.
The rewards are better health, less or no medicines, feeling invigorated, proud of yourself for making a goal, finding joy in new lifestyle changes, wearing anything you want, going to the beach finally, getting attention from others, waking up less achy. Oh, and learning that if you set your mind to a goal - you can achieve it!
There are two hands held out to you when you go for a goal - one hand is asking you to give up some things, hand them over. Those things might be white flour, afternoon naps, candy at the movies. Another hand is held out with items for you to take. These may include less medications, skinny jeans, a swimsuit at the beach, or less weight to carry around.
There is a term called "target fixation." You are driving down the road and someone is broken down on the side of the road. You see them and want to avoid them, but by focusing on their car, you actually drive into them.
Had you kept your focus forward on the road as your target, you would have stayed on the road.
Here's another one -
Tell someone to not picture a basket with red apples in it. What did they just do? They pictured a basket with red apples in it.
This is how manifestation works.
Keep your focus not on what you don't want like "I won't eat fattening foods" because you will...EAT FATTENING FOODS.
Never focus on what you don't want - that makes its importance to your subconscious stronger.
To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.
Mistakes and adaptation based on those mistakes - that is a life well lived. Living under the radar and praying for no challenges - that's the life of a serf, not a master.