It's covid and none of the usual landmarks for success or happiness are clear. What does the future hold? Can you stay afloat with job insecurity? Does your life need downsizing to feel more secure? Should you use your creative talents and have a side business for extra money?
Covid is a reminder that things that shake up our plans are sometimes the greatest blessings.
You know the saying - there are no obstacles in your path, the obstacles ARE the path.
There are some advantages to using this time for a life redo.
One advantage to the situation is you are not the outcast making change; everyone is with you in this strange time forcing new decisions.
Another advantage is this adversity has taught what might be important - family? location? happiness? downsizing for less bills?
Yet another advantage is that these times shined a light on both politics and taxation. Many are rethinking the state they live in and who is leading it, taxing them wildly, and not offering safety.
Instead of spending money out at lunch at work everyday, home workers are realizing the benefits of being safely tucked into their home where lunchtime can be spent on their exercise machine they are too tired to use after work when they get home.
Relationships are under the stress in these times, as well. Couples who led very separate roommate-like lives might be stuck together at home. It's a good opportunity to find common projects and subjects to discuss or house projects to work on together, or to reevaluate if the relationship is not viable.
Whatever your life redo, the key to making the transition tolerable is to see it as shedding one weight and gaining a freedom. Do not berate yourself, be angry at yourself, curse the world and the fates. Simply, dust yourself off like a character in a movie and march forward with enthusiasm and that scary concept called faith.
Sometimes we need to be forced to make a change. It's uncomfortable. It's unknown. It's insecure. It's terrifying. But, like that first time without your training wheels, you get your balance again and a new territory opens up.
I'm reminded of the really remarkable people I've known who were near the end of their time on this earth - they retell stories of strife, poor upbringing, abuse, bankruptcy, failed marriages, getting lost in Germany, losing their home to a tornado, winning an award, backpacking Europe....
Those are the people with character.
I ponder if I had continued the path I was on when I was married, the same day over and over with no room for growth, change, or chasing dreams.
My redo of divorcing set me free. It was terrifying. It was exhilarating. It had unlimited potential. It didn't need permissions. At times, it was fraught with stupid decisions, lack of funds, downsizing, and loneliness. But within all that scary transition, it was me tasting life, experiencing new things, trying things I never thought were possible for me, building up friendships that were family, and doing all of this with laughter, tears, terror, and pride.
Life redos are thankfully possible. It's never too late to go somewhere, do something, relieve yourself of a burden, try a new way to live, dare to chase a dream. There is no judgment in the process of redoing, as it's an ongoing process. So, remember not to judge yourself in the middle of it. Stand back and study the experience and tell yourself, "I know a girl/guy who (fill in the blank with what you're doing)." Somehow, when you think of it in terms outside yourself, you can be quite impressed at the daring involved.
Remember, at the end of your life, you want that interesting story, not the "I went to collge and became an accountant, had 2.5 children and lived in a home paid for at 30 years."
Status quo is autopilot and growth is in challenges.
You want the, "I thought I'd be a doctor, but instead I built a tiny home and traveled the country pulling it on a trailer. I worked at many jobs, lived in many states, faced some crazy times, failed at some things, succeeded at others...."
After all, the process of the human experience is being presented with a series of learning experiences and tests of our mettle from the moment we learn to walk until we are put to rest.