Javanaut: When You Travel the Universe for Coffee


For a few years, I had a running gag on Facebook about "Javanaut." This was a fictitious caffeine-addicted astronaut who searched the universe for planets not based on carbon, but coffee beans. Mission Control was forever having issues with his wandering ways and distractions when it came to his cup of joe. 

Let's have a look into Javanaut's transmissions to Mission Control - 

MISSION CONTROL Javanaut this is Mission Control. You are on approach to Planet Cafe. We received your photo beneath the planet's atmosphere. Appears liquid. Please gather sample. Over.
JAVANAUT:  Mission Control, sample acquired (burp). I might need to get more samples as they seem to go...missing. Over.
MISSION CONTROL: Javanaut, do not. I repeat. DO NOT ingest any liquid from this steaming lake. It could have an adverse effect. Over. 
JAVANAUT:  Mission Control, roger that. I am feeling great, tingly, alive, awake, and ready to go for a swim. Over. Out.
MISSION CONTROL Javanaut? Javanaut? Javanaut!

Javanaut, we received your photo of the pond on Planet Latte. It appears you have extended your tool for acquiring sample. Please report back if sample was acquired in the scoop. Over.
JAVANAUT:  Mission Control. Yes, the sample was acquired, but liquid spilled over the scoop and had to be dealt with orally. Over.
MISSION CONTROL: Javanaut, you've been instructed to avoid ingestion of unknown caffeine levels. Over.
JAVANAUT:  Mission Control, will be back as soon as I pull myself off the ceiling. Over.
MISSION CONTROL:  Javanaut, the planet reportedly has gravity. Why are you on the ceiling? Javanaut? Javanaut? Javanaut!

MISSION CONTROL:  Javanaut, it appears there are clouds in the Moccachino Belt. Please test the atmosphere. Over.
JAVANAUT:  Mission Control, it would appear that the ship might need a cleaning as the atmosphere was 100% whipped cream (slurp). Over.
MISSION CONTROL: Javanaut, does this planetary system appear to have everything necessary to sustain life? Over.
JAVANAUT:  Roger that, Mission Control. Well, it could use a few shakes of cinnamon, but I brought my own shaker. Over. Out. 
MISSION CONTROL:  Javanaut, did you say cinnamon? Javanaut? Javanaut? Javanaut!

 Javanaut, this is Mission Control. We haven't heard from you in a few days' time. Please respond. Over.
JAVANAUT:  Ah, Mission Control, roger that. Landing on this Iced Planet was a bit tricky. I decided to dive right in and submerge on this recon. Over.
MISSION CONTROL:  Javanaut, confirm. Is there liquid beneath the icy surface? Over.
JAVANAUT:  Mission Control, roger that. It appears to be cloudy and difficult to penetrate visually, so I have begun the process of draining for a better view. Over.
MISSION CONTROL: Javanaut (taps mic), you aren't thinking of ingesting the liquid to empty it? Remember Espresso Nebula? You didn't sleep for a week! Over.
JAVANAUT:  Mission Control, no problem-o. This coffee is diluted with cream, hazelnut, and a touch of salted caramel. Over. Out. 
MISSION CONTROL:  Javanaut, did you say hazelnut and salted caramel? Javanaut? Javanaut? Javanaut!

*Julie and I suspect that Javanaut had to get his palate training at Press Coffee Roasters who give tours of their roastery. 

*Julie and I were not sponsored by Press Coffee Roasters, we are all about finding local businesses and giving them a nod for a job well done without their knowledge because buying local and paying forward for small businesses is a HUGE thing to us. This sounds like a fun way to spend the day emerged like Javanaut in the brew!