Permission to be Happy: Gratitude


It's sad by true that human beings feel their emotional default baseline setting is somewhere between skeptical or bored, resentful or anxious, but when it comes to being happy, that needs to be earned....

Apparently happiness is considered a reward by many. Which basically means it's not their default setting. It's a luxury that they can attain once they complete some task or goal. 

I'll be 😊 happy when....

I lose the last 15 pounds
My boss gives me a raise
I move out of this town
My prince charming arrives
Peers begin to praise me
I bring in a big client
(fill in the blank)

Sit down some time and write out all the things you believe are worthy of happiness.

work title?
parental approval?
goals reached?
admiration from others?


Is there a difference between happiness and contentedness? 


A gratitude-based life is one that accepts the conditions upon which life is occurring and is thankful for either the rewards or challenges. When one exhibits gratitude, they are showing contentment. 

It goes to show that the happiness is contingent upon contentment because the moment we feel satisfied with what we have, who we are, and where we are; we are happy. It is some sort of end point in our way of thinking. 

Remember a time when you were truly honestly happy, couldn't stop smiling, so thankful, so open to it.

For me, it was going back to my childhood summer home. We had a home on the Chesapeake that I loved more than our main home in Fairfax. On a quiet inlet of Doctor's Creek in New Point, we had a Victorian style home with a dock and a cabin cruiser. As a kid, there were no tvs or distractions, just endless outdoors, sand, and seagulls. We sold it when I was an adolescent and I never saw it again. But it was so deeply embedded in my heart that the reaction was like this - 

Here I am after looking out and seeing the lighthouse again and realizing I was close....

So happy, I cried with thankfulness. I wasn't grieving how I missed it, but thrilled by a reunion.

On the boat heading out to see the abandoned lighthouse my siblings and I played in every summer.

The entire stay there in the area, I never stopped smiling. 

We don't recognize what the heart silently waited for until that smile breaks, the thankfulness pours into our heart, and our bodies relax. 

Happiness is truly a response more than a condition. 

We don't generally go around smiling like we just got let out on summer break, but throughout a day, we recognize something our soul really needed. That is thankfulness that  a desire was fulfilled (recognized).  

There's something about happiness that is so synchronistic. When it's happening you think, "wow, this is so cool."  A host of things occurred to make you want to recall that moment forever, to suspend it in time, to look around and give thanks for the opportunity to express happiness. 

For those who practice the art of manifesting, happiness is important right now - before you "attain the deed worthy of it." 

By feeling as if you already got your heart's desire, you are in that "synchronistic" feeling that everything came together to make it flawless, seamless, satisfying. The last time you were happy about where you were and what was going on, you felt like nothing could penetrate it, it was time to shine, to feel relief, to dance around in it, soak it in. If you feel that feeling without the actual catalyst occurring, you are ensuring that same safe haven in which the sun shined, everyone came together, the timing was right - and THAT perpetuates itself. 

It is said to act "as if" and it will come. 

Think of happiness as a potential fuel for navigating your mortal experience. Do you suppose the journey is full of serendipity and beauty if it's fueled from this source? 

By what you focus on every moment, you decide if life is happy or life is stressful. In fact, each person can have the same situation and physical response, but have two different meantl processes leading to two different experiences. 

Two people enter a party not knowing anyone and is immediately feeling sweaty palms, fast heart rate, and quick breathing: One person could be excited to meet new people, make new friends and have fun and the other could be terrified, overwhelmed, feeling doomed to failure. 

To lighten things up, here's a wee 10-second video I created from the garden - just to make you smile and ignite the happiness! Be sure to play the sound