Traditionally, the kids go away to college and move out of state, but these days more and more retirees are making a run from the responsibilities and the soul-death of the suburbs.
In 1976, dad had heart disease and couldn't tolerate the cold weather in Fairfax, Virginia. We moved to Arizona and I learned to ignore my body's signals for change of season and find a new tradition in heating the swimming pool for the Christmas Holiday Season. Still, my dreams and fantasies involved sweaters, cold noses, falling leaves....
I met and ended up marrying the boy down the street. He was born and raised in the heat and sunshine of Scottsdale. We were married 26 years. I really wanted to go back east to college, but my father died when I was 16 and I stayed on with mom to help her fragile emotional state.
When I divorced in my late 40s, my son was getting married locally. I moved into the same apartment complex. He eventually bought a house with his wife - right near the ex's home.
I daydreamed year-round about going home to the Mid-Atlantic, but then they had a baby and I was a grandma. I never had grandparents (my parents were late-in-life having me) and my grandparents had all been born in the 1800s.
So, I struggled on in the sunshine, dryness, and the very-much-hated concrete, street lights, and pollution. At this point, I pretty much gave up on the notion of going east. There was no way I'd have my grandkid not have memories with grandma.
By a series of miracles and my hard work and talent, I suddenly burst out in the filmmaking business as a screenwriter and producer. I realized that I could live anywhere and everywhere.
My granddaughter was reaching middle-school years where friends were more important and with things like FaceTime, I could stay somewhat active in her life. I could also come to the desert for warm winters, but live in my dream location that met my needs for water, mountains, and mild climate - North Carolina.
The decision to be "selfish" and move away isn't made easily, but it also isn't selfish. Silently in the background we make sacrifices of dreams for our kids.
The thing is, if every generation did that, no generation would obtain their dreams.
By providing a new location, you also allow your family to visit and experience a new place, a new life, with a very happy parent living it. Offering a summer escape for grandkids or a vacation getaway for the family, you are an active part of their growth, their happiest moments, and you set an example for their own retirement years.
"Grandma sends me seashells and tells me about hurricanes."
"Grandpa goes fishing on the ocean on a boat."
"Grandma and grandpa take cruises all the time."
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