Is there something inauthentic about your life? Do you feel like you're playing a role more than being spontaneously joyous?
Some signs something isn't aligning between actions and self -
*You daydream a lot about living on the beach and sipping morning coffee at a cafe or perhaps being an urbanite in NYC with the career-minded path and fashion.
*Your daydreams involve an intensely romantic spontaneous lovelife or being on your own answering to no one.
*When window shopping, you're drawn to new age rock shops, perhaps bohemian unstructured clothing and stacked jewelry, things you would never normally wear, but you keep studying them with a bit of wistfulness.
*When you see videos of people bicycling along the beach walks or sailing on a boat, perhaps visiting the Mediterranean, or homesteaders gardening with chickens running about, you feel a tug of angst. Why isn't this me?
*You often revisit your youth in your mind, a time when anything was possible and responsibilities were less. Maybe you dream of the body, energy, beauty you didn't realize was priceless.
*When you look around your home, you don't see yourself in it. The colors, the accessories, the wall decor, it's just blah. Maybe it's full of compromises or indecision, or most likely trying to look like what you think a suburban home should exude.
*If given a restaurant to go to and an item to order, you realize you make compromises to go to the same places, order the same things because your life is on autopilot. Novelty is a luxury and a scary awakening like that scene in "The Jerk" when Navin hears music he has rhythm for and realizes there might be more world out there that fits -
I know a high-powered corporate type who came from poverty so was extremely driven to not only achieve, but show off the wealth. She carried many insecurities of that scruffy hungry child.
Her life became so high-maintenance that She was a slave to scheduling it all; hair dye and highlights, cut and blow out drying, nails and toenails, car wash and vacuuming, fake tanning, etc....
When asked who she envies, she didn't name one single female CEO. She said, "beach bums that chase the sun through the seasons, north and south with seaspray curly hair and sand between their toes."
Let's answer a few questions. DO NOT use excuses - pretend you don't have to answer to anyone, live near anyone, take care of anyone, have the job you're in - be brutally honest with yourself so you can wake up from autopilot numbness.
What is it you want more time for?
To do something creative like crafts, photography, music, art? To go back to school and learn a different industry? To get married and settle down with babies? To explore the world?
Where do you really want to reside?
Italy? Your hometown? Beach? Exciting city? Mountains? Farm? Tiny home? Nomadic?
When your life is over how do you want people to describe your life?
Spontaneous? Loving? Daring? Exciting? Trailblazing? Philanthropic?
If you hadn't taken your career course, which arena would you fit into?
Science? Artist? Performer? Public figure? Reporter? Teacher? Park ranger?
Let's explore your daydreams more -
Do they involve lifestyles?
Do they involve people?
Do they involve places?
Do they involve money?
Do they involve love or sex?
Do they involve new experiences?
Are they indoors?
Are they outdoors?
Most importantly, what feeling do they give you? Longing? Excitement? Determination? Grief?
Sit down and write the top 5 daydreams you have - take note of your reaction in the daydreams as far as how you feel inside when you imagine them happening. Does it feel like a life you would fall right into and feel totally at home?
When in your life right now do you get those feelings? For me, the feelings of my dreams I also get when I'm outdoors, especially near water and if I'm blowing bubbles or dancing.
This can help you if you are in transition of claiming the life you daydream about or you find yourself committed to where you are. Add those elements.
I need sunlight, bubbles, water, plants, music, dancing, sipping wine on the patio, laughing, firepits.....
Own a bit of your daydreams if you aren't ready to claim it all. Soon, I will be sharing a great deal about the huge undertaking I made to stop daydreaming and owning my honest life.
Lastly, note any YouTube channels you are obsessed about. For me, it's been women up and moving to Italy or homesteading, perhaps renovating their home alone, surfing at the age of 60....
If you can't flip your life right now and claim that location or career, consider adopting aspects. If you wish you were in Hawaii, how about some home decor references, a tiki bar on the patio, or a vacation there.
Daydreams are visions of what can be - and the only obstacle is YOUR ACTION.
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